It has now been more than a month since my return from Asia. Considering the ever-escalating situation around the world – good timing. Better be home near your support system when something like this is going down.

March 26 will mark my 4 years of living in Berlin. This is a city that many locals but especially transplants have been having quite a love-hate relationship with. If you know me personally, you are also aware of my regular crashouts over basically anything that happens (or does not happen) either in Berlin specifically or wider Germany in general.

The spectrum of my grievances is what’s typical for many – annoying paperwork, fragile infrastructure and construction works that last years, German foreign policy. In many ways it all comes down to the fact that the promise of German efficiency never delivers. The kind of culture shock that causes anxiety and disappointment in every foreigner.

I mentioned before that one reason for my sabbatical was, among others, to see if I wanted to live a nomadic lifestyle outside of Berlin. And while I am still attracted to that idea, over the months I’ve been away my mind has changed on many things about Berlin, drastically.

Having come back now, I cannot imagine myself living anywhere else but Berlin anymore. For now, at least. My friends know how often I change my mind on things. That never stops me from going forward though – people seem to forget one can have long-term goals and activities independent from their location. Just be active and creative enough to reach them.

So why is it that Berlin is so important to me that I can’t let go of it? Perhaps the biggest aspect of it is that, like for many other people who come here to call it their home, nowhere else in Europe will you have this much freedom to just be yourself. No compromises, no peer pressure, no judgment.

While that never restricted me much in my native Estonia, sometimes you just don’t want to deal with narrow-mindedness. It is not my first time talking about this, but I’d like to add that most of my friends left the country exactly because of that. If you want to express yourself in an unconventional way, Estonia is not for you. A great place to start a business, though.

For someone like me who identifies as both non-binary and bisexual, Berlin is arguably the place one will feel most comfortable just being themselves. No need to deal with someone who can’t mind their own business, sometimes including friends and family. Everyone’s a little gay here.

Another thing I absolutely love about Berlin is its public transportation. While I’ve had my frustrations with the train delays across Germany, the ones running within Berlin are quite efficient. There are so many options to choose from, they are quick and everything runs often enough to not be having to look at timetables.

Sure, sometimes there are employee strikes, cables get stolen or the trains themselves break down. This does disrupt the service, yet given the variety of alternatives I rarely have to worry about how I’ll get from A to B (especially if one lives within the Ring). Worst case scenario I’ll use my bicycle – the infrastructure is so well-planned here you’ll never need a car.

Over the past two years my core friend group in Berlin has been sharing the same grievances about the city, so we all tried living away from the city for some months. How ironic it is to see us all back and committed to Berlin at last. As always, practice beats theory – we found out yet again that grass is greener wherever you water it. Speaking of grass…

Unlike most countries in Europe, Germany allows you to water a special kind of grass without it being a problem. And if I get too lazy to water it, I can always get a prescription online – 2 days later it’s in my mailbox. Since I’m quite the fan it’s yet another reason for me to stick around in Berlin. You can smell it on almost every street too.

And of course, with the level of diversity you’ll find in Berlin it truly deserves to be called a global city. I won’t argue that New York City absolutely aces in the category of cultural diversity, but Berlin is good enough at that as well. Suppose that having been occupied by four foreign powers for 45 years helped with the process of getting Berlin there.

Talking about the history of the city, I live just 200 meters away from the site of the former Berlin Wall. It’s not an exaggeration to say that history is around every corner here. The division of Berlin is arguably my favourite historical topic. And since I’m into trains, the most fascinating aspect to me is how the S-Bahn and U-Bahn were split between East and West.

On top of everything I mentioned above, I’ve never had a job I loved so so much. Best team, amazing benefits, a truly reliable support system. Sometimes the going gets tough but I never have an issue waking up to go to work. This might not seem Berlin-specific to some but I can speak from experience that the corporate events here are actually worth attending.

Speaking of work, it shows that in Germany trade unions are actually being taken seriously and are not so easily dismissed. Striking is a very common occurrence that gets the job done – in the end employees receive better compensation and working conditions, though they shouldn’t be fighting for those in the first place.

Having been away for several months really helped me put things in perspective as to what I was willing to let go of. While that was the goal anyway, I did not expect that my sabbatical will solidify the idea of really calling Berlin my home. What was meant to be temporary increasingly seems to become permanent. And to be fair, it’s a great place to be.

Dreaming of living in Berlin, briefly studying here, and then working for years to get to live here full-time – just to give it up when you finally got everything you wanted? Maybe I shouldn’t be so rash with turning my back on the life the 15-year-old me would absolutely destroy everything on their way to get there if they knew what was coming.

I never expected a life this good. While hard work and support from friends and family played a major role in it, Berlin is the environment to make it last. I feel needed and valued here, people are open-minded enough to accept my ideas. Sure, I’m not keen on spending my winters here, but even this first world problem is solvable. As always, let’s see if I change my mind.